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neuer Beitrag
Navigation: » Gossip-Forum » Rad der Zeit Witze [ 1 2 3 ]

Beitrag Nr. 1
16. Nesan 04, 16:20

Lyuna
Rang: Novizin

Benutzer-Avatar

die hier hab ich auf einer amerikanischen RdZ Website gefunden, deswegen sind sie leider in englisch, aber ich stell sie trotzdem mal hier rein. Ich hoffe, das passt ins gossipforum, ich wüsste nicht wohin sonst damit...
schreibt mir mal, wie ihr die findet ^^



>>

Wheel of time light bulb jokes

How many Tinkers does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't. Tinkers wait for the sun to rise.

How many Aiel does it take to change a light bulb?
Aiel don't know how to change light bulbs.

How many Forsaken does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the Forsaken like it in the dark.

How many Aes Sedai does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but she makes 10 other people think they want to do it for her.

How many Two Rivers folks does it take to change a lightbulb?
About 20. Everyone on the Village Council will insist that he should take part of the responsibility, so it will take them a long time to find the right person to do it. Meanwhile, the Women's Council will be debating which brand of lightbulb they should install, comparing unit prices and MTBF ratings. The plans of the two groups will ultimately conflict, leading to much use of names like "stubborn" and "woolhead".

How many Whitecloaks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four. One to change it, and three to hunt down the darkfriend who let it burn out.

How many ta'veren does it take to change a lightbulb?
One; s/he holds the bulb aloft and the world turns about him/her.

How many Ogier does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it'll take them six months to decide who should leave the Stedding to go purchase it.

How many Aiel does it take to change a light bulb?
There's more ji in finding ones way in the the dark.

So, how many [color] ajah *does* it take to screw in a light bulb?
Blue: Three; one to change the bulb and one to confuse the issue.
Brown: Three; one to look up the previous references, one to compile an index, and one to record how it gets done... by another ajah.
Green: One, plus a warder to screw with.
Grey: "Well, how many do you think it should take?"
Red: "That's not funny, burn you!"
White: [Pauses, goes to change a light bulb, returns.] "One."
Yellow: Three; one to change the bulb, one to learn how it died, and one to try heal the dead one *anyway*.
Black: Two; one to change the bulb, and the other to secretly change it back.

How many Black Ajah does it take to change a light bulb?
a) It doesn't matter, you're still going to find yourself in the Dark.
b) Three. One to do it, one to be a witness, one to kill the witness
c) Fourteen. One to do it, thirteen to get thirteen Fades and change it back to the Dark.

How many Yellow Ajah does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You can't Heal the dead.

How many White Ajah does it take to change a light bulb?
"But how can you be sure the bulb is dead in the first place, when we only have the evidence of our senses for this?"

How many Brown Ajah does it take to change a light bulb?
Lots; to study an obvious artifact from the Age of Legends.

How many Green Ajah does it take to change a light bulb?
One: to get the warders to do it.

How many Grey Ajah does it take to change a light bulb?
about 10: so they can discuss the effects of the absence of light in such dark times.

How many Red Ajah does it take to change a light bulb?
Two; one to change it; and one to curse men for not making them last longer.

How many Whitecloaks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fiftyone. One to screw it in and fifty to hunt down the Darkfriend that let it burn out.

How many Brown Aes Sedai does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Don't know. They always get distracted studying an obvious artifact from a previous Age.

How many Two Rivers people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, first the Village Council would get together to decide what to do. Then the Women's Circle will decide that the men won't handle it right and begin to discuss wattage and cost of different brands. A power struggle will then ensue, which will last for several weeks, with frequent namecalling such as "woolhead" and "stubborn." The Wisdom will, of course, spend the whole time blaming Mat for breaking the old one. Eventually one of the children will ask why it matters since they don't have electricity, and both sides will immediately blame the other.

How many Ogier does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to read the instruction manual and put it in while the other holds off the Ogier women who think that any Ogier who can change a light bulb should be married...

How many Two Rivers women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Nynaeve to go off and bully a man to do it for her.

How many Illianers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, if you can convince him Tairens like dark rooms.

How many Tairens does it take to change a light bulb?
One, if you can convince him Illianers like dark rooms. (Actually, the answer is more likely to be "One Tairen noble to order a servant to do it.")

How many Ogier does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes him 7 years to do so.

How many Sharans does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One male and one female to take turns changing the bulb, and one channeler to smash the bulb every seven years.

How many Aes Sedai does it take to change a light bulb?
Fiftyeight!
...a Blue to try to manipulate an innocent bystander into changing it.
...a second Blue to try to manipulate the first Blue to do it.
...a Gray to settle the conflict between the two Blues.
...a White to try to prove logically that the bulb shouldn't be changed because darkness is a natural state indoors at night.
...a second White to try to prove logically that the first White is an idiot.
...a second and a third Gray to calm the two Whites as they dispassionately, nonemotionally, logically, and coolly try to scratch each other's eyes out.
...a Brown to go away to try to find ancient instructions in the library. This Brown is not seen again for at least a month.
...a Red to complain that this would never have happened if the light bulb had been invented by a woman.
...another Red to agree.
...a third Red (secretly a Black sister) to try to convince the others that the easiest way to stop all men that can channel is to kill all men in the world.
...a second Brown to look suspiciously on the third Red.
...a third White to nod to the second Brown.
...a dozen sisters of mixed colors to shield, haul away, interrogate, still, and execute the third Red.
...thirteen other Blacks to flee the Tower.
...thirteen more Reds to locate and gentle the man who channeled to cause the light bulb to break.
...a Green to try to "privately convince" a handsome young man to change it.
...a second Green to try to "privately convince" another handsome young man to change it.
...three more Greens trying to "convince" one handsome young man each. (just in case)
...one Yellow to revive the lamp.
...and a fifteenth Black to kill it again as soon as the coast is clear.

How many Green sisters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It all depends on how many Greens you can fit in the light bulb.

How many Whitecloaks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
If you walk in the light, you shouldn't know the answer, do you?

How many Questioners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We ask the questions around here!!!

How many Saldaens does it take to change a lightbulb?
TwentyOne. One to dance the sa'sara, ten men to volunteer for her, and another ten to break up the ensuing battle.

How many Aes Sedai does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. While she says "The Wheel Weaves as the Wheel Wills," her Warder does it behind her back.

How many Malkieri does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Well, it better not be more than one.

How many Two Rivers women does it take to change a light bulb?
3 one to change it and two to berate the man who let it burn out.

How many Two Rivers men does it take to replace a bulb?
None! A woman must do itmen can't be trusted to do anything.

How many false dragons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We don’t know, they always get caught first.

How many Asha'man does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them. One to teach it, the others to practice.

How many Tairen Lords does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ha! Like they'd be caught dead doing a servants work.

How many Sea Folk does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in while standing in water and another to clean up the corpse.

How many Trollocs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Narg. Narg smart.

How many gholam does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to replace it and another to suck the life out of it.

How many Forsaken does it take to change a light bulb?
RAFO. Eventually one of theirs will burn out.

How many Tairen commoners does it take to change a light bulb?
One to relate the breaking of the bulb to fish, one to complain that he's a 'bulbchanger' not a 'bulbscrewerinner', and one to decide not to change it because someone might think it's channeling... so three I guess.

How many possible Demandred alterego's does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but we many never know if it was really him.

How many Hunters for the Horn does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to change the bulb, and one to impress everyone with the story of how perilous the job was.

How many Domani women does it take to change a Light Bulb?
None. She just looks helpless with the broken one, within several moments someone will do it for her.

How many Gleemen to change a light bulb?
None; they are too busy composing a High Chant ode to the wonder of the Bulb to notice it went out.

How many Myrddraal does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None will. Good luck finding a Myrddraal that can stand the light.

How many Aes Sedai of the White Ajah does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, to argue that logically no one can because light bulbs do not exist.

How many Hero's of the Horn does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All of them. To get even one Hero, you have to blow the Horn, and that summons all of them. They'd be pretty pissed though to find out they were called back to change a stupid light bulb...

<<




---
† You said you read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed †

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 2
16. Nesan 04, 17:25

Barid Cham Aellinsar
Rang: Kandierter Apfel

Admin-Avatar

Also ein paar witzige sind schon dabei, aber du hättest ruhig die doppelten rauslöschen können, wenn du schon die ganze seite einfach kopierst ;)
Mit dem GossipForum hast du schon das richtige gewählt, aber ich finde es wäre besser/kreativer wenn du dir selber RDZWitze ausdenken würdest und die dann postest (die wären dann wohl auch auf deutsch :) ).


---
„I thought you saidar-ed it.” - Mat Cauthon

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 3
16. Nesan 04, 19:53

aria
Rang: Aes Sedai

Benutzer-Avatar

hehe....der mit den táveren ist nicht schlecht! :P


---
geschichte ist die lüge auf die man sich geeinigt hat.

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 4
16. Nesan 04, 22:24

fike
Rang: Bauer

Benutzer-Avatar

How many Trollocs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Narg. Narg smart.

Mein favorit :D
---
A light in the black... or just the fear of the dark ?

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 5
17. Nesan 04, 15:17

Aeron
Rang: Aiel

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ich find n paar davon auch ganz funny!
die mit den tairener und illianern zum beispiel! ;) da wir das überfreundlich verhältnis zwischen denen mal wieder glänzend klargemacht^^
greetz LT

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 6
17. Nesan 04, 18:25

Lyuna
Rang: Novizin

Benutzer-Avatar

ich mag den:

How many Aes Sedai does it take to change a light bulb?
Fiftyeight!
...a Blue to try to manipulate an innocent bystander into changing it.
...a second Blue to try to manipulate the first Blue to do it.
...a Gray to settle the conflict between the two Blues.
...a White to try to prove logically that the bulb shouldn't be changed because darkness is a natural state indoors at night.
...a second White to try to prove logically that the first White is an idiot.
...a second and a third Gray to calm the two Whites as they dispassionately, nonemotionally, logically, and coolly try to scratch each other's eyes out.
...a Brown to go away to try to find ancient instructions in the library. This Brown is not seen again for at least a month.
...a Red to complain that this would never have happened if the light bulb had been invented by a woman.
...another Red to agree.
...a third Red (secretly a Black sister) to try to convince the others that the easiest way to stop all men that can channel is to kill all men in the world.
...a second Brown to look suspiciously on the third Red.
...a third White to nod to the second Brown.
...a dozen sisters of mixed colors to shield, haul away, interrogate, still, and execute the third Red.
...thirteen other Blacks to flee the Tower.
...thirteen more Reds to locate and gentle the man who channeled to cause the light bulb to break.
...a Green to try to "privately convince" a handsome young man to change it.
...a second Green to try to "privately convince" another handsome young man to change it.
...three more Greens trying to "convince" one handsome young man each. (just in case)

am liebsten ^^


---
† You said you read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed †

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 7
18. Nesan 04, 16:20

Ink..kraja
Rang: Kandierter Apfel

Admin-Avatar

Die gabs auch irgendwo alle mal in deutsch, ich glaube bei der "Konkurenz" hier


---
Sei unbekannt, suche die Schatten.

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 8
10. Jumara 06, 03:57

Mia
Rang: Schiffsköchin

Benutzer-Avatar

Das hier ist auch gut eine Kurzzusammenfassung der Bücher:

BookAMinute summaries:

The Eye of the World
By Robert Jordan
UltraCondensed by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard


Rand al'Thor: Tam is my father.



(Nothing happens. Then, nothing happens. Then, unexpectedly, nothing happens. Everything is FRAUGHT with PORTENT.)



Moiraine: Everybody come with me.



Everybody: No. Well, ok.



(They travel a LOT. Something happens that isn't explained. Something happens that doesn't make sense. Something happens.)



Rand al'Thor: Tam is my father.



THE (predictable, cliched, dumb) END




Fans: Yah! Wah hah! This is the greatest book ever! Whoo hoo! This is the greatest series ever! Whoopie! Yee haw!



etc.

Wer mehr lesen will: http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/sff.shtml



---
Pain is weakness leaving the body.

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 9
10. Jumara 06, 21:24

Taires Bayl
Rang: Junggeselle

Benutzer-Avatar

Tach,

vielleicht kann an dieser Stelle mal geklärt wie bestimmte Arten von Humor funktionieren. Zum Beispiel hab ich immernoch keinen Plan von Aielhumor obwohl ich es schon echt längere Zeit versucht hab. Mich würde auch interessieren, was für Humor die Leute aus Seanchan haben, glaube nicht,dass der mit dem "normalen" Humor überein stimmt...

cya, Taires Bayl


---
...Wir werden sehen...

[ antworten ]

Beitrag Nr. 10
11. Jumara 06, 16:21

Toram
Rang: Büttel

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So, how many [color] ajah *does* it take to screw in a light bulb?
Green: One, plus a warder to screw with.

Ein Schelm, wer böses dabei denkt...


Zur vorherigen Frage: Humor ist, wenn man trotzdem lacht


---
Auf den Alkohol! Den Ursprung und die Lösung sämtlicher Lebensprobleme!

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